If I Can't Be The One You Love
by Ayakaishi Fei
Summary: A rambling Tomoyo-perspective fanficcy about her relationship with Sakura. Sometimes second place is all you can hope for - particularly when the prize for coming first is your completely straight, *female* best friend. T+S, S+S. Some T+M as well. Shoujo


Title: If I Can't Be The One You Love, Can I Be Second-Choice?  
  
Author: FireDemon  
  
E-mail: Ken_Dai_Love@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: Romance, Slight Angst.  
  
Warnings: Shoujo-ai.  
  
Summary: A rambling Tomoyo-perspective fanficcy about her relationship with Sakura. Sometimes second place is all you can hope for - particularly when the prize for coming first is your completely straight, *female* best friend. T+S, S+S. Some T+M as well.  
  
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP and other totally cool people. Me, I'm not cool I don't own it. I've seen "Cardcaptors" and the first 2 movies (is there a third?) so my knowledge of the characters is fairly limited. This is my first CCS fanfic so *please* be gentle when you review (You will review right?)  
  
~~~  
  
Do you remember when I told you I loved you? You said you loved me too.  
  
I knew it wasn't the same kind of love - but that was okay.  
  
I'm willing to wait for you. I know one day you'll know what I mean when I say I love you.  
  
I remember every second of your crush on Tsukisiro-san, you thought you were so in love with him, but I knew better.  
  
I could wait for you to get over him.  
  
Only... then you fell in love with Li-kun. And he was already in love with you.  
  
I helped Meiling set you up, I don't know why. Yes I do. I wanted to see you happy. I told you once I loved you. I still do.  
  
I love you best of all Sakura-chan.  
  
When you smile, it lights up the room. When you smile at me, I die and am reborn in that smile...  
  
I don't know why I can't tell you how much I love you. I've tried.  
  
When I gave you the chocolates, homemade chocolates, remember?  
  
You said, "You're supposed to give them to the one you love best."  
  
That's why I gave them to you Sakura-chan.  
  
I love you best of all.  
  
~~~  
  
Meiling-chan told me once that I was stupid for letting you treat me the way you did. I told her that Li-kun treated her worse.  
  
Do you remember when she came back to visit from Hong Kong?  
  
I kissed her then, because she was crying, because I was crying, because you and Li-kun were in love... with each other.  
  
I think, maybe, I could be in love with her.  
  
But she doesn't want to be second choice... second best.  
  
I don't care about that Sakura-chan, I don't care if I'm second-choice, as long as I get to have you. Just once.  
  
But I know that will never happen.  
  
Li-kun broke his engagement to be with you, he loves you.  
  
~~~  
  
It's been two-years now. You know, I thought if I waited long enough, you'd see me.  
  
But I know you never will.  
  
Meiling and I are sleeping together, I bet you and Li-kun would be so disgusted with us if you found out.  
  
I know you and Li-kun have "made love", Meiling and I mock you two sometimes. Because we are not in love and you two are.  
  
"I love you," I say to her, when I watch her squirming in pleasure.  
  
"I love you," I say to her, when she smiles at me affectionately.  
  
"I love you," I say to her, when she prepares for her martial arts competitions.  
  
And she says, "I know you do."  
  
And then I see you, and I love you best of all.  
  
~~~  
  
You and Li-kun are getting married tomorrow. You're glowing - like an angel.  
  
I want to cry.  
  
I loved you first.  
  
I love you best.  
  
And I want you to know, if anything ever happens, if you ever want me, I'll be waiting for you.  
  
And then I see Meiling, watching me.  
  
She knows. She knows everything. She knows I love you best of all.  
  
We stand together when you and Li-kun kiss, swearing your undying love.  
  
And I realise; I will never be the one you love.  
  
So I watch you go off with Li Syaoran, and I don't have the guts to ask... If I can't be the one you love, can I be second-choice?  
  
Because I know you'll never look at me like that.  
  
I'm only your best friend after all.  
  
I smile at Meiling through my tears,  
  
"I loved her best of all."  
  
And she smiles at me, her smile as watery as mine.  
  
"But Syaoran-kun loved her only."  
  
And I am happy. I love you best - but he loves you only.  
  
Owari.  
  
A/N: So, so sweet. *huggles Tomoyo*. Anyway, this is my first effort at something from CCS, please tell me what you think. Have I got Tomoyo-chan IC? Hope it's not too confusing. Please review? 


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